How to Talk to Your Kids About ICE

Many Americans were shaken by the image of 5-year-old Liam Ramos — wearing a bright blue hat and carrying a Spider-Man backpack — being led away by ICE agents. His detention was a stark reminder that amid the Trump administration’s expanded deportation efforts, children are often among those most deeply affected.

Last year alone, at least 3,800 children — including 20 infants — were detained by immigration authorities. Millions more live with the daily uncertainty of possible family separation: about 4.4 million U.S.-born children have at least one undocumented parent.

The impact extends far beyond those directly detained. Children have seen classmates suddenly disappear. Some have stayed indoors during recess out of fear. Others have witnessed heavily armed officers in their neighborhoods or heard about violent enforcement incidents. In Minneapolis, school attendance dropped as much as 40 percent during spikes in ICE activity. Similar, though smaller, declines have been reported in cities like Chicago and Los Angeles.

Even when students show up, educators say the emotional toll is clear.

“Students are having a really hard time paying attention,” said Alejandra Vázquez Baur, co-founder of the National Newcomer Network. “They’re afraid for themselves, or maybe they’re afraid for a parent or a sibling who could at any moment be picked up and they will never see them again.”

Pediatricians are seeing the strain as well. Razaan Bryne of Children’s Minnesota reports more anxiety-related symptoms in young patients: stomachaches, sleep disruptions, potty-training regressions, and intense separation fears — even short separations, like walking to another room for a vision test.

And it’s not limited to immigrant families.

“I am seeing it across the board with all of my patients of all backgrounds,” Bryne said.

Experts say that while the risks many families face are real, there are meaningful ways adults can help children feel steadier in uncertain times.

The first step is talking about what’s happening — not pretending it isn’t.

“Ignoring it doesn’t mean that the child is not experiencing it,” Vázquez Baur said. “This is not just an issue for immigrant families. It’s an issue for all families.”

Be Honest — But Grounded

The children most vulnerable to lasting harm are those directly affected by immigration enforcement — those detained themselves, separated from loved ones, or living with the immediate risk of family separation.

Research shows that prolonged, severe stress can have lasting effects on children’s brain development and emotional health. Studies of children separated from their parents under previous “zero tolerance” policies found significant trauma, including symptoms of post-traumatic stress.

Parents’ stress matters, too. When caregivers are anxious or depressed, it can disrupt routines and a child’s sense of stability.

But experts caution against offering false reassurance.

Parents “should never promise something that can’t be promised,” Bryne said. Saying “everything will be fine” may feel comforting in the moment, but it can also seem dismissive if a child senses real danger.

Instead, start by listening. Ask open-ended questions like, “How are you feeling about what’s been happening?” or “Has anything changed for you this week?” Simply knowing they can bring their fears to a trusted adult can help children regain a sense of security.

Make a Safety Plan

Natalie Cruz, a clinical psychologist at Children’s Hospital Los Angeles, recommends what she calls “optimistic realism”: acknowledge uncertainty while identifying sources of hope and control.

One way to do that is by creating a safety plan. Organizations such as the Immigrant Legal Resource Center and United We Dream offer guides — in English and Spanish — to help families prepare. Plans might include identifying a trusted adult who could care for children if a parent were detained, as well as reviewing legal rights in case immigration officials come to the home.

Lucy Bassett, a professor of practice in public policy at the University of Virginia who has studied the treatment of children at the US-Mexico border, compares it to preparing for other emergencies. Just as families practice fire drills, they can talk through what steps to take in a stressful situation. The goal isn’t to frighten children — it’s to ensure they don’t feel helpless if something happens.

Children need to know: If something scary occurs, there’s a plan.

Keep Routines Steady

While immigration enforcement may disrupt daily life, predictable rituals can anchor children emotionally. Small habits — saying something you’re grateful for at dinner, reading a favorite bedtime story, practicing deep breathing before sleep — can create islands of stability.

Adults should also tend to their own stress. Journaling, drawing, talking to loved ones, or taking short breaks during the day can help regulate anxiety. When children see caregivers using healthy coping strategies, they learn to do the same.

Teachers play a role, too. Classrooms that affirm students’ identities and contributions — for example, by displaying all students’ work — reinforce belonging. In some communities, parents have organized group walks to school so children feel safer traveling together.

Help Kids Channel Their Feelings

Even children whose families are not directly affected may feel unsettled. Families of color, regardless of immigration status, report feeling targeted. Meanwhile, white children who are citizens are witnessing friends and classmates experience detention or deportation.

Kids may feel confused, fearful, or even guilty about their own relative safety.

Adults can help reframe those feelings into constructive action. Children can think about ways to support classmates — checking in on a friend, including someone who seems withdrawn. Older kids might write to elected officials or participate in community service projects.

“Sometimes just doing good in the world in some way, even if it’s not directly related, can feel good,” Bassett said.

Children Are Resilient

Experts remain concerned about the long-term effects of chronic stress, but they also emphasize that children are remarkably resilient.

Recovery from trauma is possible, especially when children have a stable, caring adult in their lives — someone who listens, protects routines, and offers steady support.

“It isn’t like once this happens, they’re lost,” Bassett said. With safety, care, and connection, children can heal — even after frightening experiences.