Mixed-Status Families Across America Are Facing Fear, Separation, and Heartbreak

As parents, our deepest instinct is to keep our families whole — to protect our children from chaos, fear, and the kind of loss that leaves marks they carry for the rest of their lives. Yet today, U.S. immigration policies are forcing thousands of American families to make impossible choices, leaving children to watch their world fall apart in ways no child should ever have to witness.

A new report from American Families United (AFU) reveals the scale of this crisis. In a survey of 227 mixed-status couples, 80% of U.S. spouses say they wake up each day afraid their family could be separated, while 12% have already been split across borders. Others have been pushed into exile abroad simply to keep their families together. Nearly all describe the same thing: a system that gives them no path to stay together in the only home they have ever known.

But behind the statistics are real stories — parents, children, and caregivers navigating pain no family should have to endure.

A Mom Forced to Choose Between Her Health and Her Husband

One U.S. citizen described the moment ICE detained her husband — a man with no criminal record. She said her heart “was so broken, both medically and metaphorically,” a grief she carried while raising their children alone.

Her own heart condition worsened. Her son’s epileptic seizures intensified. And when the family had to leave the United States to stay together, the medical care they relied on simply wasn’t available.

“I needed medical care that was not accessible in Brazil,” she explained. Her son needed care there, too. But the government had left her family with no good options — only separation, or exile. Ultimately, she had to return to the

U.S. without her husband, even after 18 years of serving her community as a public employee.

A Family “Losing Everything” Just to Stay Together

Another American spouse described how her family uprooted their entire lives — careers, community, stability — and moved to Brazil because it was the only way to avoid being split apart.

But the move created its own cascade of new struggles: losing access to necessary medical care, falling into financial distress, and watching their child’s needs go unmet.

She said she “lost everything.” Not because of anything her family did wrong, but because the system offered her no safe way to keep her loved ones together at home.

A Survivor of Abuse Left Caring for Two Families Alone

One woman — already a survivor of abuse in a previous marriage — said she and her current husband had legally adopted four children together. When her husband was deported, she suddenly became the sole caregiver for all four.

Then she took in her sister’s four children as well. Eight children. One parent. All because the U.S. government removed the partner who anchored their home.

She said she would “do it over and over again” because her commitment to her family is unshakeable. But no mother should be forced to fight this battle alone.

Families Providing Care While Living With Constant Fear

Another participant described taking a relative to chemotherapy every month — always with her undocumented spouse by her side, always performing the loving, everyday acts that hold families together.

Yet even in those moments of compassion, they live under the shadow of fear that ICE could take her spouse away without warning.

This is the emotional reality AFU calls a “largely invisible crisis” — a crisis felt by hundreds of thousands of American citizens whose families have been destabilized or destroyed by policies that refuse to recognize their marriages or protect their children.

“Our Separation Was Not Inevitable. It Was a Policy Choice.”

In the report, Amanda Ribeiro — a U.S. citizen, nurse, and mother — explains that her family did everything right. They followed every legal process available to them. It didn’t matter.

“My family’s separation was not inevitable — it was a policy choice,” she said.

“And no one benefits from American children growing up without their father.”

Protecting family unity is a basic commitment to the wellbeing of our children and the strength of our communities. These families are our neighbors, coworkers, classmates, and friends, all trying to give their children the same chance at stability and security that every family deserves.