The Power of Apologies (and How to Teach Them)

Family Compassion
Oct 8
2 min read

Saying “I’m sorry” might seem like a small thing, but it’s one of the most powerful tools we can teach our children. Apologies repair relationships, teach accountability, and help kids develop empathy. Yet, teaching children how to apologize isn’t just about making them say the words—it’s about helping them understand what it means to truly take responsibility for their actions.

Here’s how to guide your child in the art of genuine apologies.

1. Model Apologies Yourself

Children learn by watching you. When you make a mistake, say sorry sincerely in front of them:

“I’m sorry I raised my voice. That wasn’t kind. I’ll try to do better.”

This shows that everyone makes mistakes, and apologizing is a healthy way to make things right.

2. Teach the Elements of a Genuine Apology

A true apology goes beyond “I’m sorry.” Encourage kids to include:

Acknowledgment – Naming what they did wrong.
Regret – Expressing they feel bad for hurting someone.
Responsibility – Owning up to their actions, not blaming others.
Repair – Offering to make it right if possible.

Example:

“I’m sorry I grabbed your toy. I shouldn’t have taken it without asking. Can I give it back?”

3. Practice Empathy First

Before apologizing, help your child understand how the other person felt. Ask questions like:

“How do you think your sister felt when that happened?” “What could you do to make her feel better?”

Empathy helps them see why the apology matters—not just that they have to say the words.

4. Encourage Apologies at the Right Time

Sometimes kids apologize out of guilt, without really meaning it. Teach them that timing matters: waiting until emotions settle or the other person is ready to listen makes the apology more meaningful.

5. Reinforce Positive Apologies

When your child apologizes sincerely, acknowledge it:

“I can see you really meant that apology. That was brave and kind.”

Positive reinforcement encourages them to continue taking responsibility in the future.

6. Make It Age-Appropriate

Young children might need simple phrases: “I’m sorry I hurt you.” Older children can handle longer apologies with explanations and solutions. Adjust the approach based on your child’s age and understanding.